Online Casinos Jokes

A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. this peaks his curiosity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog.

then the dog acts in turn with all the other players, calling, raising, discarding, everything the other human players were doing. however none of the other players seemed to pay any mind to the fact that they were playing with a dog, they just treated him like any other player. finally the man could not longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players, “i can’t believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world!” the player smiled and said, “he isn’t that smart, every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.”

A guy named joe finds himself in dire trouble. his business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. he’s so desperate he decides to ask god for help. he begins to pray… “god, please help me. i’ve lost my business and if i don’t get some money, i’m going to lose my house as well. please let me win the lottery.” lottery night comes and somebody else wins it. joe again prays… “god, please let me win the lottery! i’ve lost my business, my house and i’m going to lose my car as well.” lotto night comes and joe still has no luck. once again, he prays… “my god, why have you forsaken me??

i’ve lost my business, my house, and my car. my wife and children are starving. i don’t often ask you for help and i have always been a good servant to you. please just let me win the lottery this one time so i can get my life back in order.” suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and joe is confronted by the voice of god Himself: “joe, meet me halfway on this. buy a ticket.”

A man walks into a butcher’s shop and inquires of the butcher: “Are you a gambling man?”

  • The butcher says “Yes”, so the man said: “I bet you L50 that you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks up there.”
  • The butcher says “I’m not betting on that.”
  • “But I thought you were a gambling man” the man retorts.
  • “Yes I am” says the butcher “but the steaks are too high.”